One of the most common questions we hear is, “How do we make our
relationship work?” The answers are complicated, varied, and, after a
while, can start to sound like muddled platitudes. But these commonplace
sayings get repeated because they work. With this in mind, we pulled
together 12 cliches that, in fact, reveal simple, tried-and-true advice
for having a healthy, happy relationship. Read on and let us know what
you think:
1. Mind your manners. “Please,” “thank you” and
“you’re welcome,” can go a long way in helping your partner remember
that you respect and love him and don’t take him for granted.
2. Variety is the spice of life. Studies have shown
that dullness can lead to dissatisfaction with a relationship. Trying
something new can be as simple as visiting an unfamiliar restaurant or
as grand as a backpacking trip through Sri Lanka. Discoveries you make
together will keep you feeling close. Video Advice: My Wife Won’t Tell
Me Her Fantasies
3. The couple that plays together, stays together.
Find a sport or hobby that you both love (no, watching TV does not
count) and make that a priority in your relationship. Camping, biking,
building model trains… whatever it is, find something you enjoy doing
together.
4. Fight right. In order to have productive
arguments, keep these rules in mind. Don’t call your spouse names. When
things get really tough, take a break from the argument. Let the other
person finish his/her sentences. Don’t initiate a discussion when you’re
angry.
5. I’ll scratch your back if you scratch mine. No
one likes demands (unless you’re in a BDSM role play), but everyone can
appreciate a compromise. If you want your lover to do something and
you’re not sure he’ll be agreeable, the quickest way to avoid a
confrontation is to sweeten the deal. For example: “Sure, I’ll watch
Monday Night Football if you take me to see the next movie of my
choice.”
6. Two heads are better than one. Being in a
relationship basically means you’ve made a merger; you’ve not only
joined assets but inherited the other’s problems as well. Rather than
looking at his problems as merely his own, tackle them together. For
example, if he’s gaining weight, rather than pushing him to diet on his
own, enroll in an exercise program together. Fun And Free: The Exercise
Date
7. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Maintain
your own friendships and occasionally have a night out without your
significant other. Doing things without your s.o. not only makes you
miss him or her, it also keeps you sane. And, in case the relationship
doesn’t work out, you’ll still have your friends.
8. Sound it out. It other words: communicate!
Talking out the tough subjects-money, religion, fidelity, raising
kids-will not be the most fun you’ve had, but it’ll be valuable.
9. Laughter is the best medicine. Learn to laugh at
yourself and at silly mistakes. If he throws your $300 cashmere sweater
in the dryer, laughing it off is, in the long run, better than getting
angry. It’s is just a $300 cashmere sweater, not the end of the world.
10. Keep your eyes on the prize. Yes, he forgot your
co-worker’s name for the tenth time, but it probably doesn’t mean he
doesn’t care about you. If you keep your perspective fixed on the
goal-to be in a happy, functioning partnership-you’re less likely to get
tangled up in every minor annoyance. Remember, you both want the same
thing.
11. Quitters never win. Find a ritual and keep it alive, no matter what. Whether it’s always kissing each other good night, renewing wedding vows every
year, sleeping in as late as you want once a month or committing to
having sex once a week, pick something that makes you both feel good and
stick to it, even when you’re tempted to skip.
12. When the going gets tough, the tough get going… to therapy.
Studies show that couples who seek counseling during rocky periods are
more successful in resolving their issues than those who don’t. Whether
its from a religious figure, counselor or mental health professional,
getting an expert to help sort out strife is as wise as forgoing
self-installation and hiring a plumber to put in a new sink.
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